We Brits love a New Year’s Resolution - even if we don’t love keeping them.
Estimates range from about a third of the population upward making them each year, with Nottingham being one of the top scorers. In 2024, a SunLife survey found 76% of Notts folk intending to make at least one.
Most resolutions don’t make it past the three month mark. Some sources found a lot don’t even make it past the end of January, with the second Friday of the month dubbed ‘quitters’ day’, as the most popular day for people to give up on their efforts. But don’t let that get you down.
There are a few things getting in our way. The first is the word ‘should’.
Have you ever said something like ‘I should lose weight/get fit/get a new job’? Should is not the same as ‘want to’. It’s not a motivating word in general, and statements like this aren’t linked to your own personal motivations either, even if you do want the end result. Losing or quitting something also sounds inherently negative, even if it’s a positive outcome. It fails to mention what you gain after all of your effort and hard work has gone in.
Another is Gates’ law, which is the notion that we overestimate what we can do in one year and underestimate what we can achieve in ten years. Essentially, we have unrealistic expectations and want everything right now. And when they’re not met, we see ourselves as failures, and give up.
What can we do to make better resolutions?
- Find the right reason: Things we think we should do are not the same as things we want to do. Equally, if we believe there’s no way we can achieve something but we make that what we want anyway, without acknowledging how we feel about it, we’re likely to fulfil our own prophecy of not achieving it. Do you really want to lose weight, or do you want to feel fitter when you walk to the bus stop? Or perhaps it’s something you feel based on societal pressure, rather than your own values. It might be that working on your self-compassion would be a more valuable thing to do just now instead.
- Reframe what you’re after: Instead of saying what you don’t want anymore (for example, I want to quit vaping), bring what you do want into the picture. Is it feeling free and in control? Breathing better? Saving money for a holiday? Focus on the thing you’re gaining and make your statement focused on that, and in the positive, personal, and present tense. It needs to be something you love saying - and will love having!
- Avoid all-or-nothing approaches: When we focus solely on the end goal, we forget that it takes lots of little steps to get there. So it becomes make or break. Have we got the thing yet? No? Then we’ve failed and it’s not worth doing. Equally, don’t fail yourself if you haven’t smashed the measures you’ve made. If you wanted to go to the gym four times a week and you’ve been going twice, there’s improvement or changes to be made - but it’s not a failure. And, importantly, never equate yourself with that failure. It’s an event, not a person.
- Check in on progress: Sometimes things trail off, rather than end with a bang. We mean well, but didn’t put measures in place to help us keep on track. It’s ok if you want changes or moves. But you won’t know for sure where you are with it if you’re not finding ways to check-in with yourself on things on a regular basis.
- Celebrate the wins: It doesn’t matter if they’re big or small, if they’re ones you thought you’d have or not, it’s important to keep your motivation going by recognising what you’re achieving along the way. We rarely achieve something overnight, so giving yourself a boost is the best way to go.
Interested in tackling clutter in your home and your emotions as one of your new year goals? Take a look at the latest edition of Notts based magazine, Made. In it, you’ll find an article to help you get All Clear for the New Year, including handy tips to make the most of the process.
If you’d like to discuss any support you think you might need or if you have any questions at all, just get in touch and I’ll be happy to have a chat.